One of the questions writers get asked quite a bit (besides if we want to write your story, because you have a great idea for a book that you don’t think you’ll ever write) is “How do I get my book in front of an agent or editor?”

We have all been there. There’s that magical early stage of being a writer. You’ve written a manuscript. A whole 350 or more page complete beginning-middle-end honest-to-goodness manuscript. Wow! Now what? Give yourself a hand. You have to realize how many people want to do that and never get close. They stop at three chapters. Or maybe at one word. Or maybe they don’t even get past the formation of an idea in their heads (and that’s when they give published authors the old shout out– do you want to write my story? No, thank you, we do not. We have lots of ideas of our own. But thanks again. Very sweet of you to offer).

Now that you have a full manuscript, presumably proofread and self-edited and polished to perfection, what do you do? You think about your target audience and where you would see that book on shelves (in the reference section? romance? mystery?). Don’t say it’s kind of a romance and a mystery with a horror twist. Decide. You have to know what you’re selling and where it fits in the market before you can convince others to get on board with you. But it’s unique! It doesn’t fit anywhere! That’s what makes it special! Or, quite possibly, that’s what makes it self-published because you can’t figure out what to do with it, and no one else will do it for you. But presuming you do know that it’s a Regency-set historical romance, or a cozy mystery, or whatever. Let’s move on.

You’re ready to query agents, or editors, but I recommend you start with agents. You need to write a letter describing what you’ve written and who you are, possibly adding what makes you uniquely qualified to write such a book, or any writing credentials. You can find some examples of very effective query letters online. Better yet, you can find great tips of What Not to Do from the agents themselves. Many of them have very helpful blogs. Two of my favorites?

Jessica Faust of Bookends LLC.

Janet Reid, Query Shark. Janet is one of the many fine agents at FinePrint Literary Management. I’m represented by Stephany Evans at FinePrint.

Which brings me to the next point. How do you know which agents to query? Ask around. Find out who represents your favorite authors. A lot of times, authors will thank their agents or editors in their acknowledgements. You can find quite a bit of information just by Googling. (I love Google!). So go forth and query! Don’t be scared. And best wishes.

Do you want to write? Have you written a full manuscript? Sent out any query letters or emails? Or maybe you have a really great rejection story? I love hearing those! Do tell. (Don’t worry– we all have them. Well, maybe not Julia London, but most of us have them). Any questions about querying? Ask away!

So, I have been searching for the past two days for a topic that is appropriately wine-worthy, but nothing felt ARGH enough.   I could whine about New York State politics, but honestly, Saturday Night Live does it so much better than I ever could.  I could whine about the absence of real Tex-Mex in New York, but frankly, I whine about that one a lot, and it you all have probably heard it a gazillion times.   I could whine about the earthquake in Chili and how we lost 1.26 millions of a second because the force of the quake  bulged out the planet (much in the manner of my skinny jeans after a large dinner) and the earth had to spin faster to keep up.   But in the end, for today, I’m choosing to whine about sex.

As a writer for Blaze, it would shock most of you to know that I don’t like to read about real people’s sexual foibles in the paper.  Mainly because – THEY’RE NOT THE GOOD ONES!   First we have Eric Massa, a relatively new New York House Democrat who is *alleged* (don’t you love that word?) to have groped and fondled at least two of his male aids.  Massa, in his own defense, claimed that he did not *grope* them, he only “tickled him until he couldn’t breath.”  Tickled?  Really??  Really?  That’s the story that you want to go with on this?   Why can’t we read about long, meaningful glances, or a sly touch to the thigh, almost innocent, except for the way the young staffer caught his breath.  Do I want to read about Tickle-Me-Eric?  Ew!  No.

And then we have French dynamic duo of debauchery (actually, I don’t think they’re debauched, but I couldn’t come up with another salacious sort of ‘d’ word, so for today — debauched it is!).  French First Lady, Carla Bruni is apparently *in lurrrve* with a French singer, and the heart-broken French Prez has found comfort in the arms of right-wing cabinet member and also karate champion, Chantal Jouanno.  A karate champion named Chantal?  My editor would SO make me change her name, because no karate champion could ever be named Chantal.   And I’m thinking to myself, but  the French don’t care about these things!  I thought to be French meant to be open, to embrace scandals of the heart, to be *European* in all matters of the sexual arts???  Quel horreurs!

And lastly, there’s the crème de la crème — the John Edwards sex tape.  I’ll just let that one sink in and horrify your mind.  The John Edwards sex tape.

You know, if you’re a Presidential candidate, if your wife is ill, it’s not really smart to have relations with someone else.  Wait until after the election.  And oh, uh, don’t have a baby with said woman, because they have these things called pa-ter-ni-ty tests that can sci-en-ti-fi-ca-ly prrroooove that you’re the father.  And because apparently that’s not enough to stop the hair product that has seeped into your brain:  Don’t VIDEOTAPE yourself doing it.

For sextapes, there are couples in the world that I think, *meh*.  There are couples that I think *oohh* and then there are couples that make me throw up a little in my mouth.  John Edwards and frankly, anybody brings up the taste of last night’s dinner, and not in a fond way.

So, today’s question is on sextapes.  If you could pick a “ooh” and you could pick a “regurgitatious” one, who would star?  Extra points for creativity.

Daniel Craig, and uh, frankly anybody would be my “ooh”.  I’m thinking Howard Stern and uh, frankly anybody, would be my: Gawd, NO!!

If you are a coffee or tea drinker, have I got a machine for you.  It’s called a Keurig, and it’s a single cup coffee maker and I LOVE this thing.  No more wasted coffee, no more waiting for coffee to brew or tea to steep.  Just pop in a K-pak, press a button, and POOF–perfect coffee or tea every time!

Keurig machines are available at the Keurig website (Keurig.com), in department stores (Macy’s Kohl’s, etc.), Bed, Bath, and Beyond, as well as Costco.  I bought mine at Costco, which not only had the best price, but the machine came with a huge variety box of K-paks.  And let me tell you, there are HUNDREDS of different flavors, varieties and strengths of coffee available, from vanilla caramel (which is delicious, btw), to Kona, to blueberry crumb cake, to French roast.  On Keurig’s website you can order either a box of 25 K-paks, or a sampler which contains 5.  K-paks are also available at the stores I mentioned above.  Best of all, your cup of java or tea will end up costing less than 50 cents–that’s a whole lot cheaper than Starbucks.  Plus, not everyone has to have the same sort of coffee–I drink decaf and hubby prefers fully caffeinated.  No need to make 2 pots of coffee–everyone’s happy!  

Another great feature is that you can brew your own ground coffee in the Keurig.  It comes with a little attachment you can fill with your own grinds (my husband enjoys the occasional cup using his Dunkin’ Donuts grind), and it’s perfectly brewed every time.  You can also use your own tea bags and Keurig will give you instant hot water–no more waiting for the tea kettle to boil!

As you can tell, I love my Keurig!  So tell me—what’s your fave hot beverage? Coffee?  Tea?  Hot chocolate?  Or do you have a different pick-me-up?  And have you found any good buys you’d like to share?

So I looked at my calendar wrong, and thought I was writing about Good Buys, which would be an easy subject for me because I found the Best Freaking Buy Ever recently, both because I need it desperately as I finish up this book, and also because it’s free. It’s Mac Freedom, and it’s this totally cool program that shuts down your access to the Internet for up to 8 hours. (You can get it back but it’s a Huge Freaking Pain in the Butt because you have to restart your computer). I tell you, it’s a dream. Unless your husband walks into your office and wants you to check the balance on the debit card we use for groceries. But seriously, who checks debit card balances in the middle of writing a totally cool action scene? Not me, that’s for sure.

As for Pop Culture, well, as you may have noticed, Sherri blogged the Oscars. Which, um, I would have if I’d watched them. And if I’d realized I was supposed to be blogging about Pop Culture. But I only watched the opening this year (she says, hanging her head in shame) because I was working (internet free!). So, go buy your free Mac Freedom (and if you like it, consider donating. I did!) and get your fill of pop culture by reading Sherri’s awesome posts from yesterday.

Charlize Theron is usually on my best dressed list, and she would be again (great color!) if only it didn’t look like her dress was attacking her boobs.

Here’s Meryl. What do you think? I’m still thinking meh. She looks good, but not amazing, for me anyway. It’s not a wild misstep, I’ll give her that.

I think Gabourey Sidibe has a chance to sneak in and win Best Actress if Meryl and Sandra cancel each other out in the voting. And she looks good, very pretty with just a touch of sparkle (to go with her smile, and who wouldn’t be happy and bubbly on her first Oscar nomination for her first big role).

Jennifer Lopez might be trying to balance her booty with that big wave off to the other side, but it’s not working for me.

Helen Mirren, gorgeous as always.

Queen Latifah, also makes my Best Dressed List.

And have a look at Sarah Jessica Parker in vintage Chanel. I’m not loving it, but it works.

This is exciting! I’m live-blogging the red carpet. Colin Firth is right this second talking to Ryan Seacrest. With his lovely wife. Awww. Meanwhile, George Clooney is running around looking impish. His hair is doing a not-quite-Clooney thing tonight. Interesting.

But here we are with more fashion:

Miley Cyrus looks tarty and too grown up. But Miley, babe, if you’re going to tart it up, own it. Stop slouching. Shoulders back and smile. (Speaking of tarts, vavoom, who is that in the background with Morgan Freeman?).

Here’s Sandra! What do you think? Is she ready for her little gold man accessory or what? Nice, sleek hair. Pretty, classic gown. Although… Meryl just showed up and she looks ready to win, too. It could be a red carpet rumble! Meryl, I have to caution, doesn’t look bad, but has looked better. She’s in a white gown that looks very 1980s to me– and her hair is doing a weird, structured curl thing. Maybe later we’ll get a glimpse. (Jay Manuel and Giuliana at E! think Meryl looks “sexy and age appropriate” which is like saying she looks good for an old lady, isn’t it? Hmm. They wouldn’t say that about Helen Mirren!)

On to my second Worst Dressed nominee. Diane Kruger is never boring, I’ll give her that. She’s almost Seussian in this. Maybe that was her goal, to do a grown-up Cindy Lou Who tribute to Dr. Seuss. In that case, bravo. Otherwise, not.

Carey Mulligan is currently in the lead to play Jane in my dream film version of Jane Slayre. But she might have dropped down a notch. Jane would wear black, check. But she wouldn’t have spangled it up like an 80s prom gown, minus. I would have gone with a more understated shoe, too. Something delicate. But that’s just me. (Actually, I would have gone with something in a New Balance or Nike, but that’s why they don’t allow me on the red carpet, haha).

Maggie Gyllenhaal and Peter Sarsgard. Maggie is looking kind of paint-splashed. I don’t know why her dress makes me think of Manga, but it does.

In other news: Woody Harrelson is in a tux made of hemp. Robert Downey Jr is rocking the hot nerd look.

Sandra Bullock looks amazing and I hope she wins. But I don’t have a picture of her yet. I do have:

Sigourney Weaver. Looking good, even though she blends in with the red carpet in the pic.

Vera Farmiga also opted for color. It looks weird in the photo, but I really loved it on the carpet. Nice color for her, subdued makeup, Oscar-worthy updo. Nice choice on going minimal with jewelry. But this is going to be one of those dresses people love to hate, I suspect. She said she never gets recognized. Her taxi driver thought maybe she was up for an Oscar in the costume or makeup categories. Humbling! She’s gorgeous.

Ooh, child. Here’s one going for Worst Dressed. That’s a bona fide contender right there on the lovely Zoe Saldana. It’s like she couldn’t decide on which hue of purple so the designer threw them all on the skirt and waited for her to make a choice. “I’ll take them all!” Oh dear. Also, looks like she forgot her top and showed up in a shiny chemise.

Amanda Seyfried looks young, fresh, and Grace Kelly-esque. I love it. She’s also filming a historical Red Riding Hood version, “very goth” it sounds fantastic. Can’t wait!

Everyone seems to think Mo’nique is going to walk away with the Best Supporting Actress statue. I agree. But I wish she dressed it up a little more. I would have loved to see her in something elaborate and sparkly. The blue is kind of boring. She also says that she doesn’t mind if her husband cheats on her. It’s “not a deal-breaker.” All rightie then.

Another cute, gorgeous, young choice on Anna Kendrick. A soft rose, drapey fabric, so pretty. It wasn’t her first choice, but she changed her mind and went with this. I wonder what her first choice was? We’ll never know. She might have gone with a brighter color. The rose is close to that nude color that washes some people out. What do you think?

Just like that, the skies turned blue, birds started chirping, and the temperature finally climbed into the sixties and seventies.  It’s spring!  And every spring, I start looking at my closet of sweaters and furry house shoes and dude, I have some serious closet cleaning that needs to be done. What is that?  Is it a biological thing that makes me want to clear out clutter and throw open the windows?  Does spring do that to you?

What do you want to accomplish this spring?  Closets?  Drawers?  Kitchen? Bedroom?  Garage?  Something different altogether? Tell me your spring cleaning of flinging plans.

I grew up with a mother who loved shoes.  All her boxes were lovingly stacked in the closet and each time she’d pull one out I’d hold my breath waiting to see the unveiled glory of her day’s choice.   She has a size 6 triple A foot so quite honestly all shoes look marvelous on her.  But her taste in shoes was up to the perfection of her dainty foot size and the combination meant names like Bruno Magli and Salvatore Ferragamo were very much a part of my early vocabulary.  I also had a thing for Cinderella and her glass slippers.  So suffice it to say I was into shoes from a very early age.

With a size 7- A foot, I had no problem fitting into said slipper, and spent much of my early adulthood prancing about in fabulous heels (Candies, anyone?)  But then with the birth of my child, I spread out to a solid 7-B and then less than a decade later blew out my achilles (which is the story for another blog) and my affair with high heels –sadly came to an end.  Regretfully, I went from FMPs to EMSs in the blink of an eye—or the turn of an ankle as the case may be.

But that doesn’t mean I don’t still love shoes.  I may be wearing Clarks but my heart is with Christian Louboutin.  And so for the sake of art if nothing else – here are a few of the stars from various spring collections.

First off – the aforementioned Christian Louboutin with a cream and gold confection.  A shimmery nod at fashions from the fifties.

Next, from Jimmy Choo, my absolute favorite, a red patent open-toed platform shoe guaranteed to make men drool.

Manolo Blahnick’s spring entry with a sandal that pops with Matisse-like colors that will no doubt dazzle sidewalks in Manhattan this summer. 

Next up, Stella McCartney’s causal chic.  Chino’s anyone?

And finally, with tongue firmly in cheek, Mui Mui’s nod to the sixties and flower power.  Reminds me of a black light poster I once had.

Now if only I had the achilles to support them…

So what are your favorite shoes?  And where is your favorite place to wear them?