Writing is a solitary thing. And I’m already a solitary person by nature. So when I became a writer, I developed a tendency to sit in my office and work, often not surfacing until evening when the rest of my family returned home.
When we moved to the city this tendency was exacerbated by the fact that in the city any and everything can be delivered. And with the internet usually ordered as well. All of which led to a doorman in my building once asking me how I’d enjoyed my trip as I walked out the door. Trouble was I hadn’t been away—I just hadn’t left the apartment in like a week.
Julia London, Joan Silvestro, Dee Davis - booksellers lunch
Of course I’m also online a lot. And I “see” my friends regularly through email, Facebook, twitter, and blogs like the Whine Sisters. In fact, the internet while amazing and can’t live without worthy, is partly to blame for my further isolation. And because I’ve always been pretty comfortable hanging with just me…I don’t really realize how much I miss actual face to face time with my friends until I’m forced away to a meeting or conference.
And then—sheer heaven. This weekend, I had the most marvelous time. First with my dear fellow whiners Kathleen O’Reilly, Julia London and Sherri Erwin. But also with so many other wonderful writer friends I’ve made over the years. Seeing each and every one of them was like a gift, and I felt myself relaxing and blossoming and reveling in just the wonderful nature of camaraderie. Kindred spirits.
Roni Denholtz at the book signing
So for those of you, who like me, tend to hole up in front of your computers writing, don’t forget to get out there occasionally—friends feed our souls. And lift our spirits and heck, I’m so lucky to have so many amazing people I can call friend.
How about you? Too much time in front of the computer on your own? Or are you a social butterfly how occasionally needs to force a little down time?
{ 24 comments… read them below or add one }
Poor Ti, so sorry you have pain.
Dee –
I am an extreme extrovert forced to be alone to write and someone who loves conferences and conventions to recharge and renew my spirit!
It was great to see you and Sherri and Kathleen and Julia at NJRW — so much fun to chat and catch up…..
Love love loved it!
So much fun! Miss you all already.
I spend way too much time talking to the fictional characters in my head. To combat that, the DH and I get out and exercise together every day. Today we swam. Tomorrow we’ll play tennis. Last Friday night I hosted a Ladies’ Night at the house and had 52 women here. It was great fun and got me away from the computer. It felt so good to talk to REAL people, LOL!
I definitely think exercise is a key and I need to figure out a way to better incorporate it into my life. Maybe using my husband as my training buddy is the key!
It does help. The husband and I walk together and he motivates me. Well, he keeps making me go faster and I call him some choice names, but overall… it works.
Even though I get out of the house for work and to go to the gym, I’m writing every other spare moment when my brain isn’t mush, so I still feel as if I live in solitary confinement on a daily basis. That’s why I love my writing buds, they take the loneliness away.
Hi Jennifer! Welcome to the Whiners! Glad to have you on board. I know what you mean about living life and still living in your head! Yet another reason we need our friends around to force us out of storytelling mode–at least for a little while!
So true. This is why Wendy, Jennifer and I try to get together every 6-8 weeks to reconnect in person. There’re a couple hours driving involved, but it replenishes the soul.
Laura thanks for that but the pain is still there. Until I have keyhole surgery and they scoop all the endo out I am kinda screwed. I had severe stabbing pains in my liver area (left abdomen right under the rib cage) and went to the ED (emergency dept) at 3:30pm. 9pm I was sent to the surgical ward. 11pm I was admitted to the surgical ward. 4am I finally saw a doctor who wasn’t sure what was wrong. 6am I finally got pain meds. The doctor decided not to have scans or surgery but instead to ‘wait it out’ and see what happens. Morphine and morphine and more morphine and finally last night my husband showed up to see me at 9:20 and I begged him to take me home. They sent me home with something called Acupan or Nefopam hydrochloride. It works but still I would like to know exactly what it is instead of its a mystery pain that might be endometriosis on your liver causing it to swell. So I am not a happy camper with the medical system here today but the meds make me a very happyish kinda person. The stars are really pretty I see when I stand up too fast!!!
I’m so sorry… Having my own mystery pain, I can totally sympathize. And for the record, it hasn’t gone that much better here. But I too have happy drugs. And I’m going to start PT. Mine is all about sitting too much they think. Seriously, I’m now shaped like a chair… so setting that alarm is becoming vital. Feel better. And keep pressing for answers. That’s the only way!!! We’ll all keep positive thoughts!!!!!!!
Just remember to get up at least once an hour and move so you do not develop DVT (deep vein thrombosis)
Dog, kids, and dad make sure I move around lots, always needing me for stuff. Or I’m always running from them. One way or another…
I actually have to start doing that. Apparently according to my doctor I’m beginning to be shaped like a chair!! LOL
I am an only child who likes being alone married to a guy with six siblings. He is used to always having people around, etc. He is not happy being solitary. He also has to be doing something all the time which drives me nuts. I know it is a short trip. I’d rather be reading and he isn’t a reader.
But probably that why you guys work so well together!!!
Ti, saw your comment and somehow knew you had all that going on.
Dee– I am just like you in that respect, perfectly happy with my own company and could be inside alone for weeks if I could. I usually can’t. I have to leave at some point to buy groceries or somehow appease others who think staying in the house all the time isn’t healthy. 
But more time with friends is always a good thing.
Yeah, the grocery store was always my saving grace–but here–they deliver.
Hi guys..sorry I commented late yesterday. And I did comment though for the squeamish I would not read it.
I have made some amazing friends via online including several here with the Whine Sisters, lol I met my husband in a chatroom!
I do tend to spend way too much time on the computer. I went to a candle party at a friends of mine Saturday and that was nice.
I will not go into the horrors of Sunday but all of you in favour of nationalized health care I am warning you, it is not all it is cracked up to be.
Well hoping all is okay now! Having recently spent 7 1/2 hours in the emergency room — I know how fun it can NOT be.
Amen Sistah!
hope you are doing better now Ti.
Me, too Ti! xox