Life with Father

by Sherri Browning Erwin on September 6, 2012

With the exception of a few weeks at my sister’s cabin in the woods, my father has been living with me since June. In April, he lost his residence to fire. He spent some time drifting between my sister’s house, my house, and staying with friends and then decided he needed some permanence for his dog, Diego, an aging German short-haired pointer.

Derrr... Do I smell skunk?

What Kylie thinks of Diego? “My house, my rules. I’ll get you, my pretty!”

Because I’m a good daughter, and my husband is a great man, we took him in. I don’t mean to blow my own horn, but if you knew my dad… well… I think I earned some major karma points. Dad is what we politely call a strong personality. And the idea of living with my father after well over twenty years of only seeing him in small doses caused some concern. 

Dad with granddaughter Elissa on her H.S. graduation.

But honestly, it’s not all bad. Except for Diego’s run-ins with skunks in the yard. And Dad not being able to take a hint when we need a little privacy. He has his own apartment attached to the house (that used to be my office, but hey- do I need a second kitchen, yet another sitting room with cable TV, and a sunken whirlpool bath? Heck no), with a separate entrance, but he likes company. He’s an over-sharer. That’s my dad. And we’ve actually started to get used to him (Except when he tells us what he watched on cable. That, I do not, will never, need to know).

Last week, Dad and I cooked together at his request. He wanted to make pasties (Cornish meat pies), a recipe he used to make with his mom and dad. And when he started to correct my chopping technique, or suggest a better way to roll the dough, I had a breakthrough. Dad always has a suggestion, a bit of advice, a better way to do things. And I always bristle and get annoyed and inform him that I know perfectly well what I am doing. But this time, I said, “Wow, Dad, you’re right. Thanks.”

Pasties, out of the oven and on the plate (pies filled with sirloin, potato, parsnips, onion, and spices).

And it was so much easier! He smiled with satisfaction and moved on. It only took me 44 years to learn to just tell my dad what he wanted to hear instead of prolonging a discussion to my frustration. Aha! Progress. Or selling out? I will stick with progress. Unless it comes to politics. Then I’ve got to set the old man straight. :)

Pasties Recipe:

Pie crust (use your favorite recipe, or pillsbury pre-made– or try this dough, doubled if you want more than two pasties but they are big, each serves one or two people, depending).

Ingredients
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons sugar
13 tablespoons cold butter, cut into 1/2-inch cubes
8 tablespoons cold lard
4 to 6 tablespoons ice water

Directions
1. Mix flour, salt and sugar in food processor fitted with metal blade (or use  a pastry cutter if you’re old school).

2. Cut in butter cubes with five 1-second pulses. Add cold lard and continue cutting in until flour is pale yellow and resembles coarse cornmeal with butter bits no bigger than small peas, about 4 additional 1-second pulses. Turn mixture out into a medium-sized bowl.

3. Sprinkle 3 tablespoons of ice water over mixture. With a fork, fluff to mix thoroughly. Squeeze a handful of dough — if it doesn’t stick together, add remaining water, 1 tablespoon at a time.

4. Divide dough into two balls, one slightly larger than the other then flatten into 6-inch discs. Refrigerate for 30 minutes before rolling.

Filling:

5-6 potatoes, diced
2 carrots, diced
1 medium onion, diced
6 parsnips, diced
1 pound sirloin (or stew beef) diced
Mix together, season as desired, but at least 1 teaspoon black pepper, 1 1/2 teaspoons salt, and a sprinkling of worcestershire sauce.
Stuff a rolled out crust with about a cup/cup and a half of filling, fold over and crimp. Place on greased or wax papered cookie sheet. Bake for an hour at 350.
Serve with ketchup or gravy (ketchup is the more traditional). Good hot or cold- Dad likes to eat half hot and save half in the refrigerator for the next day.
Traditionally, they are a miner’s meal. They were often filled with half meat, half sweet (fruit or cream pie) so the miner could have a meal and dessert in one. The sweet half was usually marked or initialed so the miner would know not to start with dessert. 
Have you taken on the housing or care of a parent or relative? Do you have any strong personalities in your life? What’s your favorite family recipe?
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{ 21 comments… read them below or add one }

Kathleen O September 6, 2012 at 12:36 pm

I had to move back in with my parents when I was out of work and could not find a job. It was 14 months.. It was close quarters, because my niece had to move in with them because of the break up of her father and stepmother, and one of my other brothers moved back in too.. I had moved in with them a couple of months when I found out I had to have a hysterectomy. When I came home from the hospital and all of us living in this apartment and my hormones going crazy, it was not a fun time.. But as soon as I recovered from my sugery and was back on my feet, I found a job, got a new apartment and thank god all was returned to normal. It was tough but we all made it through… I was thankful they could take me in, and now they are both gone, and both went from home to nursing homes when it was my turn to look after them… Not because I didn’t want to, just because their health warrented it and they could not be looked after properly at home.

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Sherri Browning Erwin Sherri Browning Erwin September 6, 2012 at 1:35 pm

Sorry about your parents, Kathleen. So great that your family was able to help each other when needed.

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Dee Davis Dee Davis September 6, 2012 at 9:05 am

You just made me cry… I would give anything to be able to talk with my Daddy again. Even if we hacked each other off in the process. And now I’m hungry for pasties. Love them. My motto being if you wrap it in dough they will come.

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Sherri Browning Erwin Sherri Browning Erwin September 6, 2012 at 9:16 am

I’m sorry, Dee. When I’m frustrated with him, I actually think of you telling me to enjoy him while he’s here. So, you’ve helped. Hugs.

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Terri Brisbin September 6, 2012 at 9:03 am

Sherri –

I wish I could remember to try that approach more. I have with my mom (if your dad is a ‘strong personality’ double or triple that and you have my mom) lately because I’m tired of arguing with her…LOL! I think we’re actually too much alike and that causes some…much of the trouble.

The meat pastie recipe please??

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Dee Davis Dee Davis September 6, 2012 at 9:06 am

Oh yes…please!

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Sherri Browning Erwin Sherri Browning Erwin September 6, 2012 at 9:58 am

Recipe now posted.

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Kwana September 6, 2012 at 8:24 am

What a wonderful post and I am learning the ‘wow you’re right’ words but having a hard time teaching them to my own teens. I tell them it will make life easier and a lot discussions shorter. Thanks for this post.

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Sherri Browning Erwin Sherri Browning Erwin September 6, 2012 at 8:34 am

Kwana, it’s so hard the first time. Why is it so hard? It was actually easy once the words came out and it saved me lots of trouble afterwards. The second time is easier. I think this comes with age and wisdom. My kids don’t get it yet.

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Dee Davis Dee Davis September 6, 2012 at 9:06 am

I like the thought–will practice on my family members!

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Ti Colluney September 6, 2012 at 8:23 am

I made a bread pudding recently. I made the milk and egg mixture with a mashed banana, and added white chocolate chips between the layers. It was fab!
I love Frijoles Negros. Columbia Restaurant does the BEST soup with them!
I may give you my super easy sweet and sour meatball recipe.

I am in a good mood…..

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Dee Davis Dee Davis September 6, 2012 at 9:07 am

Love bread pudding. Have a fabulous recipe for an eggnog one. We make it for the holidays.

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Sherri Browning Erwin Sherri Browning Erwin September 6, 2012 at 9:19 am

Bread pudding sounds so good right now! The banana one, only lets try chocolate chips instead of white chocolate (though white is good too). YUM! Actually, now I want to be at ‘Ohana (Disney restaurant) having their banana bread pudding. OH!

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Ti Colluney September 6, 2012 at 4:45 am

I have taken on helping with my Mummy-In-Law. We live around the corner from her and she has dementia. She is doing ok for now but is forgetting to eat and feeding her dogs 5 times a day. So we all keep tabs on her. My Sis-In-Law is around another corner so we are all really close to her.
My family are all nuts. I won’t get into the hows and whys but we all are and we all clash and we shout and we all cry and we all hug. I miss my family. Being a 9 hour plane flight makes it hard.
I have many family recipes. My mom always makes really nice fruit cakes, not like those disgusting hard things you buy but proper lovely alcohol soaked cake with cherries and pineapples. Moist. Soft. Divine. Grandma always made rum cakes. And a family friend made Fudge. Christmas was always fattening.
A very favourite recipe is buy a box of Uncle Bens wild Rice. Place in the bottom of a casserole a layer of bacon then the rice. On top of the rice place a layer of chicken (I prefer boneless skinless but its up to you really). On that another layer of bacon. Then a can of cream of mushroom soup. On that the seasonings from the rice packet. Then water as per instructions on the rice (with or without chicken stock). Cover with foil and back about 40 min to an hour on med-high heat. Remove foil and bake another 10 min. Voila!
OR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The BEST ever Sweet and Sour Meatballs.
Super duper easy.
Soooooooooooooooooo yummy.
But ONLY if you really want it.
I mean I hate to give away all my secrets to an unloving crowd.

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Jacquie D'Alessandro Jacquie D'Alessandro September 6, 2012 at 7:57 am

Sorry about your MIL, Ti. My FIL has the same problem–very sad.
That casserole recipe sounds like the best comfort food ever! And I’d love the meatball recipe–yum!
Our two big family recipes are bread pudding and black beans. I like to think I’ve improved them both with a few tweaks ;)

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Sherri Browning Erwin Sherri Browning Erwin September 6, 2012 at 8:38 am

Recipes, yay. Ti, I’ve made you homesick, sorry. But I am glad you’re close to your MIL. She’s going to need you all. It’s one of the hardest thing to watch, but there are still good times left for her.

Jacquie, why did I expect an Italian family recipe? Black beans? Bread pudding? Interesting.

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Dee Davis Dee Davis September 6, 2012 at 9:09 am

Sorry abut your MIL. But I suspect the dogs are loving it. :) Take this from the woman with a dog who yesterday ate SIX cupcakes off a table that I had wrongly assumed was too high for him and his discerning nose to reach… And you think two year olds have sugar rushes….

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Ti Colluney September 6, 2012 at 9:19 am

Ok.
This is simple.
Make a big pot of rice. I like to add a can (with juice) of mandarin orange segments, and a small dab of spice (cinnamon, all spice, pumpkin pie spice, cloves, anything you like!) but not everyone likes it. So try either way. I added kafur lime leaves once too. Lovely!

Next. Make your meat balls. Everyone has their own way. I take ground meat (I prefer beef but my grandma went on this health kick and used turkey which btw she actually started gaining weight but we won’t go there).
Anyway I take meat, oats, egg and a dash of milk to make mine. Doesn’t matter! Some people add spices. If you like it spicy then go for it. My Hubby loves them spicy hot.
Or if you do not want to make them, they do sell meatballs pre-made. How ever you do it…make meatballs and cook em!

Sauce: Now I am in the UK and we do not have all the ingredients so I have had to make do with what is in hand.
If you are in the US, then you buy a bottle of Heinz chili sauce (near the ketchup), and a jar of Grape Jam (or jelly). Melt in a large sauce pan on low heat. Once the jam (or jelly) is melted, add a can of pineapple pieces that is partially drained. Heat through. Add your meatballs. Serve on your rice.

In the UK, take a bottle of pasata, add mild chili powder and paprika to taste. I also add a dash of garlic powder because I love that added dimension. Add a jar of jam (I prefer the cherry or mixed fruit since you cannot find grape anywhere). Melt etc. Add the tin of pineapple pieces with half the juice. Heat. Add your meatballs. Serve on rice.

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Sherri Browning Erwin Sherri Browning Erwin September 6, 2012 at 9:59 am

Meatballs pre-made are never the same as homemade. But yeah, it’s a quick fix.

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Dee Davis Dee Davis September 6, 2012 at 11:37 am

I’ve never been able to please myself with my meatballs. They always taste too meaty and not enough other flavor. Even when I mix meats . Would love to learn how to get them right!

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CateS September 6, 2012 at 1:55 pm

OMG I never thought to add that layer of bacon!! I’m voting yes for the Sweet & Sour Meatballs!

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