Sometimes, as a mother, you stumble upon your kids in their “real world” aka what they’re like when they’re not with you, and you realize what you’ve done, who you have really raised, and it amazes you. Hopefully in a good way. My daughter amazes me in a good way. Who is this phenomenal young woman and where did she come from? Me? Really?
Elissa: Self-portrait in the sun
Yes, really. And people who know me, in my “real world” aka what I’m like when I’m not with my kids (and apparently when I am), will probably say, “oh definitely! We see where she gets it.” But me, in the world inside my head, aka where I wonder if I’m doing everything right, I’m always astounded that I managed to pull anything off, let alone raising two kids to successful adulthood. Successful… hey, they’re alive, and they’re good people. So, yeah.
I found one of my daughter’s rants on Tumblr the other day. She blogs on Tumblr. Mostly typical college stuff. But this one was a rant against Pro-Ana (pro-anorexia) sites. She talked about how important it is to nourish your body and maintain a healthy weight and what really happens when you starve yourself. Apparently, one of her old friends has become severely weight-conscious to the point of subscribing to a “pro-ana” lifestyle, and my daughter was concerned.
And yes, “pro-ana” is a thing. There are blogs and websites dedicated to anorexia as if it is a good thing. As if the rest of us shouldn’t be so damn fat. Shame on us. And fat is bad, too. I celebrate my curves as much as the next curvy girl, but the fact is that my doctor put me on high blood pressure meds and it has me worried. Now I don’t just really really want to lose a few pounds, I have to lose pounds. Obesity is epidemic. It costs everyone. But… anorexia isn’t the answer. Obviously. Most of know this. But some of us take it too far. And my daughter’s age group (she turns 19 in a few weeks) is susceptible to the messages sent by the media and super skinny models and stars.
A recent Pro-Ana rant was about model Kate Upton. Sports Illustrated Cover Model Kate Upton. And how fat she is. Really?
Kate Upton
I’m glad my daughter gets it. She knows she’s more than a number on a scale or how she looks in a bikini. I’m not sure how she has come across this wonderful appreciation for who she is as a woman, but I like to think some of it comes from me. Cheers to phenomenal women everywhere! Stay healthy.
Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I’m telling lies.
I say,
It’s in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.
Phenomenal Woman- Maya Angelou
{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }
I love this blog… I think your daughter has it right… and so does Maya Angelou… I had a problem with my wieght all my life and one of my nieces who is very young is having the same problem.. I try to encourage her now to get in shape by eating healthy and doing some exersie and then she maybe won’t have the same problems I have suffered with..
Love that poem. We’re all so hard on ourselves.
Sherri! I swear you are more and more my long lost sister I never knew I had from a different momma!!! Amazing kids who make our hearts smile are THE BEST!!!! My kid will sit with one of my lil old ladies and hold her hand and hug her without me prompting her to. And when I catch her doing it, it makes my heart smile so deep. She is growing her hair to donate to The Princess Trust (to make a wig for a person with cancer for free.) And when she is with other people, they make a point of telling me how kind, how loving, and how wonderful my kid is and how she calms their own kids down to the point where they BEG my daughter to come stay the night because everyone wants to be around her!!!!
I have seen your kids. You are a great mom!
Now. About sending your long lost sister you never knew you had one of those care packages with cookies….
Your daughter is amazing, too, Ti! So proud of her donating her hair. You are a great mom, too. Mmm, cookies.
Awesome post.
As someone who lived through anorexia, I am shocked and sickened that there are pro-ana (wouldn’t it be pro-Ano?) sites out there. Anorexia has the potential to kill. It’s horrible enough that girls (and a few guys) get so thin they look like concentration camp victims, but to be so consumed by body image is a horrible thing.
The Upton thing surprises me, actually. Even when I was down to 87 pounds, I could look at a pic like that and think that I looked bigger. Never would I look at someone that healthy and gorgeous and think that she was too big. It was all about self-image and delusional body image. That these girls think that healthy women look sick and “fat” is horrific.
My motto these days: healthy is the new beautiful
I think it would be pro-ano, too, but they say pro-ana. For some reason. I’m glad you came through with your health, Julie. Healthy is beautiful! Definitely.
Great Blog! And I already knew you had a fabulous daughter. But it is wonderful to have those mother moments when we can sit back and see our kids and just go “Wow!”
I love those wow moments.
This year, 50 years and then some into the living thing, I think I finally got it. I think I have finally stopped worrying about weight. I am healthy. I eat right, I exercise, I don’t abuse drugs or alcohol. I gave my scale to goodwill and I am using a tape measure to guide me. I am this person, in this body, and I am sick of not liking it. I am working hard to like it, and I envy women who don’t have body image issues. ENVY.
Go Elissa!
Well, she has her issues, too. We all do, no matter how hard we try not to or know we shouldn’t. But she is much more centered and accepting of herself than I was at that age, or older, so yay! And yay for you.
Go Julia!
Also, my daughter has started running, and she joined Julia London’s FB site, Running for Burgers, at my suggestion. Just throwing that in so that JFL can be proud, too.
I am so proud! She’s just gorgeous and so talented, and I’m with you, Sherri – I can’te believe you produced her. HAHA. I am kidding. I can DEFINITELY believe you produced her because you are gorgeous and talented, too. Love you, man!
Aw, thanks. But hahaha, I know.
And meanwhile, she’s working at McDonald’s, probably asking “would you like a healthy side-salad with that?”
Great blog, Sherri. You daughter sounds like an amazing young woman–good for her, and good for you, too, Mom!
Have never heard of this pro-ana thing. How awful. And as for Kate Upton–I’d love to be that “fat.” I’m telling you, if I looked like that in a bikini I’d wear one everywhere–the supermarket, movie theatre, Costco–everywhere.
Thanks, Jacquie. And I am with you. I would have a wardrobe of casual and formal bikinis. Remember when Eva Longoria wore what looked like a formal swimsuit to some awards event? I made fun of her, but I think I get it now.
no kidding… to the theatre, the restaurant, Bloomingdales. I’d be strutting my stuff everywhere… alas… it isn’t to be so.