Okay, so, I’m not blogging the Oscars. I figure that Sherri will give us the fashion deets, and I have to say, I thought the whole slate of nominees was sort of a yawner. There were no big scandals, no big surprises, no “WTF?” when the nominees were read. It was all very boring.
So instead of blogging movies, I decided to blog books, more specifically, the Diagram prize, a prestigious award presented by The Bookseller magazine to the oddest book titles of the year. Without further ado, let’s announce this year’s nominees…
A Century of Sand Dredging in the Bristol Channel: Volume Two
Yes, the world was left salivating, much like a teenage girl awaiting Twilight the movie, starring Justin Bieber, when we were treated to Volume TWO of the century of sand dredging in the Bristol Channel. I’m dredged with anticipation myself, when I contemplate Volume III, Sand Dredging at World’s End, featuring Johnny Depp in the title role, as a wacky sand dredger, torn between his long-lost pirating days and the allure of the shiny sands…
Cooking with Poo
This is a Thai tome, and I believe that TMZ is reporting on the Meryl Streep Version of the novel, where she immerses herself in a foreign land, only to find that yes, all of those sh*&*y cliches are true.
Estonian Sock Patterns All Around the World
Much like the British invasion of the 1960s, we are experiencing an Estonian Sock Pattern invasion, of which all the fashion mags have YET to remark on.
The Great Singapore Penis Panic: And the Future of American Mass Hysteria
I missed this particular event, and am distressed that the mainstream american media once again chose to ignore not only the great panic, but the future of American Mass Hysteria as well. Once again, this once magnificent nation is falling behind the rest of the world, bankrupting our mass hysteria reserves, leaving no hysteria for our children to enjoy. Tis a sad, sad, non-hysterical day in America…
Mr. Andoh’s Pennine Diary: Memoirs of a Japanese Chicken Sexer in 1935 Hebden Bridge
Another job, outsourced to the Japanese…. The Chicken Sexer union, a once proud organization, brought to its knees by the harsh regulatory environment that surrounds the US Chicken Sexing industry. So Sen Santorum, where do you stand on the chicken sexing, huh?
A Taxonomy of Office Chairs
Ah, yes, the quiet beauty of the office chair at rest. A thorough investigation of the unremarked species. It’s biology, relation to the other chair genus, feeding and mating habits. This detailed treatise follows the chair’s evolutionary track through the wilds of the modern office environment. I only hope the researchers will be expanding their scope to cover the genetic ancestor, the desk, and the symbiotic relationship between the two.
And the last nominee (and certainly the least)…
The Mushroom in Christian Art
So many times in Christian Art, we see Jesus, angels, representations of God, or visions of heaven, and yet, how can we overlook the smallest of God’s creatures, the meek fungi that is delicious when saueteed in a succulent wine sauce? A book that was far too long in the making…
So, which book are you putting on your TBR pile? What is the oddly titled book that you’d like to see written? Could it be, The Revenge of Lord Eberlin?