No! No! Not a picture!!!!!!
The thing is, I’m not sure I want it to.
I’m having a conversation later today on Skype with a friend. I dutifully downloaded Skype and, yup, there’s that video thing again.
Do I really want folks looking at me? I’m trapped in the house with two small children, either slaving over teaching decimals to the older or spelling to the younger. Can you imagine how often I run my fingers through my hair? And make-up? Seriously? I mean, when do I even have time to shower?
Add to that the fact that I’m working on revisions–more fingers-through-hair, lack of showering, really grungy comfortable clothes action.
And, alas, that’s usually my life. The “normal working hours?” Um, not at my house.
What I want to know is why these video conference thingies weren’t around back when I was practicing law? Back when I trolled the malls looking for cool clothes and tried eyeliner and wore powder. Back in those days I’d be up for an encounter with a web cam. Now…. I just don’t know.
So far, at least, I’m limiting the video conversations to friends!
How about you? Do you like video conferencing? And is it my imagination or all web-cams installed with an “unflattering” lens? What happened to that soft focus from the old movies? It was good enough for the stars of yesteryear, after all….
{ 62 comments… read them below or add one }
Have to change my mind on the Skype. Last night, at around 1 a.m, we had a fun family Skype session with my daughter and her college friends. It was pretty awesome to see college kids in their natural environment, and they all especially loved seeing our dog. It didn’t matter that I was in my PJs ready for bed, and probably not pretty. It was fun!
I just learned about this blog from Julie Kenner.
There are many times that I’m still in my PJs and talking on the phone. There are also those lovely moments when I have just finished exercising. I’ve only skyped once. It’s fantastic when you haven’t talked face to face to someone in person for a long time (and have advanced notice). lol! I would like it a lot more if I put on makeup more than once a week. 
It depends on the situation. Like mentioned above several times it’s really great for family who’s not in the area.
But than again I feel more comfortable with a good ole phone call
I have managed to avoid it. Your soft focus idea sound great!
It is a great thing for use when it helps to see a persons face. For business or for loved ones. My son uses it to talk to his fiancé who is in college in another state. It is a blessing for them.
You need to be careful because they can see everything, so a bit of care is called for.
Overall it is a great tool, just use it wisely.
I’m not a fan of the video chatting. I NEVER look good on camera, although if I knew that I had to be on video every now and again, I might actually put on nice clothes instead of stretchy pants and an ugly green sweater.
Ginger, I like the idea of the video touch-ups. I’d like to take it a step farther and have a virtual “Kathleen” that is always spiffy, perfectly made up and looking ten pounds lighter. That would be awesome!
Skype is well worth it when you need to see someones face while talking. My older son uses it to visit with his fiancé who is in another state in college. If it is used for b
Sorry, got cut off, didn’t mean to post twice. See other post for the whole story
I think it would be fascinating to have a lot of men weigh in on this topic. Most of them would probably say: Yeah, I use it all the time. No biggie. First thing in the morning, when I’m sick, while I’m eating a sloppy joe.
I love skype because then I get to actually see my son who is away in college. My daughter misses him a lot and this gives them the chance to see each other when he is away.
Vicki, We’re going to set it up on my mother’s ipad because she wants to video chat with the kids. I think it’s a great thing for long-distance families.
I’ve avoided Skype, Facetime and other similar applications, like the plague so far, under the rational assumption that it wouldn’t be fair for even my friends to be subjected to me on camera when I’m at home. Seriously, the days of Mrs. Cleaver and the pearls are long gone. At least in this household. And I’m with Julie, there was a day when I would have probably looked half-good –since I too was in working woman mode with power suits and perfectly done hair. But that ship has sailed. And I just don’t think I have the courage… Besides I’m doing everyone a favor–really!
OMG.. I hate anything that has to do w/ video conference. Lol. As a military wife, webcam is the 2nd best thing during deployments or field props. I don’t ever mind seeing him, but when the tables are turned, I make up all kinds of excuses. I know, I shouldn’t do that, but my gosh, when the little webcam of yourself pops up and you look at yourself, it’s hard to try to make yourself look a little more daring. So I pile up my kids in my lap to say hi to their daddy and to hide ME. Lol. The hardest excuse to make is a “bad connection” because my husband logs onto all the messengers, Yahoo, Skype, Window’s messenger, FB, myspace, etc. and I always say that my connection is bad and that everything keeps booting me. I know that terrible of me, but I dread seeing myself and then I don’t want my husband to see that either. At least a still photo can be tampered w/.. but live feed videos/cams cannot be tampered w/ unless you unplug something or keep logging off and on to make it look like a bad connection.. Thank you for this opportunity to share w/ you all my webcam-phobia. Lol.
-Kween-SaTui-
I scared myself the one time I tried out the camera in my laptop.
Been there, done that!!!!
Once apon a time I could not step out of the house without dippety doo scrungied hair, eye liner and lipgloss. (I was a lil Madonna in my own right). Now I am forced to wear it to work. Otherwise its comfy clothes and my ever faithful Ugg slippers. If my family are that desperate to video conference with me, then they shall see me in my normal baggy comfy glory. Never done it. Prob never will.
Maybe I can get my husband to set up the webcam and put it into Sepia tones. Hides the flaws! Then maybe just maybe I would consider doing it.
Oh my God–dippety doo! I’d forgotten all about that stuff…now I can actually smell it. Memory is an interesting thing.
Best for that 80′s scrunchy ‘Madonna’ look.
A little dab will do ya!
I live in Colorado and my kids and grandkids all live in Utah, so I am somewhat of a fan of video conferencing….as long as its one way!!! (i see them, they don’t see me!!!) I agree, I hate the way those things add pounds!!!!!
not for me, thanks. i look bad enough in person. Yikes!
LOL … That’s exactly how I feel!
I a too computer illiterate to try to Skype or anything that has to do with the webcam!! My teenage daughter loves to. I also agree with you that the lens or the resolution has a few issues.
Maybe one day in the future I will be brave enough to try Skype but I’m not sure.
My fear used to be that the camera was on and I didn’t know it!
There’s a Criminal Minds episode about that and it isn’t pretty!
I only do it with our daughter who is 3000 miles away- so I can see she is still alive, breathing and healthy. but I did buy a really good camera anyway!
maybe the really good camera is key?
I think you need to be less than like 20 years old to look good on a Web cam. My teenage daughter and her friends can usually manage to make cute pictures of themselves to post to Facebook, but when I try…wow. Not so cute, really.
Liv
I haven’t used Skype yet, but only because I haven’t had a reason to–the kid’s college is only 45 minutes away, so we see each other frequently. When he heads out west this fall, however, we’ll jump on the Skype wagon.
I think using it for family chats is great, but I shudder to think of using it for business. I mean, one of the biggest advantages to being a writer is that you can go to work in your pajamas. Without make-up. Without combing your hair. And when I’m on deadline? Yikes–it gets really scary looking around here. It goes beyone “bedhead” into “deadline head” and that’s not a look I’d want to share with an editor.
What a coincidence. My webcam makes me look scary, too. I’m talking slasher movie scary. It is definitely a conspiracy.
We need a webcam “designed BY women FOR women.”
LOL! Yes, that’s exactly it!
Oh man, I’d jump on that bandwagon.
I don’t mind the skyping with friends and family. What gets me is the videos the publishers do. I look like such a goon in those things, and then I hear my voice! Ack!
I have to do two for them very soon, and I keep putting it off, keep putting it off….hair, makeup, something that doesn’t make me look fat, and then I have to practice being articulate, which, I have noticed, only happens at the end of my fingers these days, and never from the mouth.
Oh I love skype! Without it I wouldn’t get to see my two grandchildren, 2 and 4, growing up (in Malaysia) and when they come over they wouldn’t know who I was (or their grandad, and great gran and great grandad who also get a look in when I’m skyping) And it’s good to SEE my eldest son – their father, and my youngest son too, who has taken himself off to an island off of Thailand for a long time…
However, would I want to video conference for work? I’m not so sure about that! Great topic!
Ann, I use it for talking with family, too.
Yeah, I’m not a fan of the webcam. My children are not small so I have no excuse except that I hate to be on camera and yes, the hair and makeup thing is still an issue. I’m not going to appear on webcam if I don’t look suitable to at least run to the grocery store, so… yikes.
I do think it’s great for book clubs. I had a book club meet with Skype- a college class who was studying Jane Slayre, actually- and that was very cool indeed. And of course, it’s great for business meetings. But for casual conversation, no thank you. I need a prearranged appointment to Skype. Even if it was with my husband or mother or college daughter. There’s always the screen grab, you know. Yep, I live in fear.
Okay you had me at the college class studying Jane Slayre…How cool is that??????
I completely agree. I’m thankful not to have any conferencing to do, but I’ve used skype to keep in touch with friends and family far away. It’s not flattering and just awkward! Phones are awkward enough without seeing each other! Of course, it’s always fun to see the other person at least for a little while or if you have some exciting fun stuff to share, but meh. My camera isn’t usually hooked up, and I leave it that way for an excuse.
My husband sypes all the time, all over the world. He loves the convenience and the fact he doesn’t have to travel so much. I spend all my time trying to remember not walk behind the web camera and giving his client’s an eye full. They’re already too acquainted with our cuckoo clock and mouthy Maltese!
I haven’t even loaded skpe! Not sure I will… although I think as a writer that having book club talks all over the country via skype might be a very fun thing. I’d just have to remember to move the laptop to a room w/o the cuckoo or Buster dog.
Enjoyed the blog topic, Julie. Thanks.
completely agree about the “not ready for my close-up” thing about the video. On the other hand, it allows me to stay in touch with my daughter in college and see (really see) how she is doing, and it gives her a chance to watch the puppy growing up and not miss out on as much. It also allows the grandchildren to stay in touch with their grandmother – they are very spread out geographically – Oregon, Vermont, Massachusetts and Florida, when it is not easy to travel. So, mixed blessing?
Definitely a mixed blessing. I’m sure when my kids go off to college I’ll be all over that thing.
Eh, I still see them enough. I know what they look like. Hearing voices is all I really need, now and then. Text message cuts it on a more regular basis.
Now if we’re talking fast-growing grandkids, yes, I will need to be regularly on Skype if they don’t live close. Grandparents must love Skype!
Can u imagine what it must have been like a few centuries ago? Your kids got on a train or a boat and you never – literally – saw them again!
I can’t actually — it must have been frightening. And so heartbreaking. Even though you would have wanted them to have the opportunities that the new places could provide.
I used to laugh when Dee told me she and her DD texted each other in their apartment. I’m, um, not laughing anymore. Except at myself and my kids!
See….
I’ve only skyped when our son was in Austria for an exchange trip two years ago. I have FaceTime on the iPad but have never used it!
Our elder daughter (17) regularly uses Skype or TinyChat to talk with friends around the world who she met on Tumblr. I wonder what our youngest (12) will use in the future?
I wish there’d been Skype back when I was a kid traveling internationally (haha! I recently blogged about my grandma abandoning me in Stockholm….I coulda called my mom!).
I think my kids will love it, though.
I remember growing up and always hearing ‘one day we will be able to SEE who we are talking to!’ and how exciting it would be. Now that we actually have that technology, I have no desire to use it.
I haven’t tried Skype yet, but I do know that the webcam that came with my laptop is just awful. Lord knows I wouldn’t want anyone seeing me through that thing’s eye, no matter how dolled up I was! That and I can’t even talk on the phone in peace when I need to without some sort of commotion (when any other time it is usually peaceful); why would people want to not only hear, but see my son, my dog and my birds in action, too? LOL!
And no one cares what you look like when you are talking on the phone.
THIS!!!! “And no one cares what you look like when you are talking on the phone.”
I Skype with my sister and nephew once in awhile since they’re in Ohio. But…I’m not really one for it. Just like I’m not really a phone (as in talk on the phone) person. So…yeah. And I agree. When I do, I look awful!!! What the heck is it about the webcam? Ugh! LOL
I think the webcam inventors created a special “not at your best” lens. That’s my theory….
I haven’t used either but I see their use. They are tools and how you use the tool is what’s important. Unfortunately, I see them used for the wrong reasons. Too many will use them to gab about nothing instead of being productive in the work place.
Totally true. I don’t have a problem with the gabbing about nothing, really, unless it is during work time on someone else’s dime. I’m just not sure what the point is in seeing someone.
I heard a story once about a work at home person who had a business vid call and set the camera so that only her head was seen. But she was in a nightshirt that was, like, not really there. Forgot about the camera, stood up, and gave the person on the other side quite an eyeful.
And, seriously, does anyone really want to watch me wander around my house talking and doing dishes and picking up kid detritus?
I have to say that I feel exactly the same as you do about using a webcam. I have two small children myself and I am a full time student so often I do not take the time to properly care for myself as I should. However, it goes beyond image. I am not sure if you have the same issue that I do, but my kids are extremely noisy. Especially my oldest who is reading now, loves to sit next to me a read my conversations I am having online. So it goes without saying I have had to watch what I am typing at times just to make sure she does not read something that she should not. If my friends manage to bug and guilt me into getting on webcam with them I try to do it when the kids are in their room supposedly occupied with their toys. At least that is the plan that I have in mind, however, it is rarely ever that case.
Just as the connection is made it is as if an alarm goes off within my children’s brains, telling them to call for me or to fight with one another thus bringing my attention. Once they are “settled” again and I return to the conversation, it is often that one or both of them are now following me. The moment their eyes land on the camera it is the end of me enjoying time with my friends and it becomes my kids showing off their talents, i.e. sticking out their tongues, making other funny faces, telling jokes, singing songs, (and in the case of my son and any pretty female) kissing the camera.
I feel your pain and completely sympathize with you in this manner, but given how the world becomes more and more digital everyday its going to be one of those things that becomes more and more common. Us of the shy motherly world are going to have to learn to adapt or be left in the virtual dust of reality.
SO TRUE: “Us of the shy motherly world are going to have to learn to adapt or be left in the virtual dust of reality.”
Can I just say that I’m uber impressed that you’re a full time student with two little kids. Do you sleep??
Your kids antics are cracking me up. Mine will hover. Only the oldest can read, though, and she’s pretty good at going away when I tell her to quit hovering. The noise factor, though…that I still have to deal with.
I probably don’t sleep as much as I should but I get by lol Mostly its a matter of managing my time and such to get as much done as possible, while trying (keyword there is trying) to get some time in for myself.
Lucky for me though my friends absolutely adore my kids and think they are the cutest kids. Like mentioned before my son is like a magnet with the ladies so I have to deal with a lot of “AWWWW! HE IS SOOOO CUTE!!!” When he sticks his face into the screen.
I have really enjoyed using Skype to talk to my mother and sisters. They do not get to see me or the kids that often and it helps to make the separation easier. My children are so computer savvy that they can pretty much launch any program they want on their own. So my daughter will call my mother and ask if she will get on my sister’s laptop so that they can talk over Skype. Then of course I get asked last if that is ok, which I always say yes and she can use my computer on her own to launch it and everything.
I HATE video conferencing. Especially when a phone call would suffice. I’ve had clients who wanted to “skype” before – WHY? The only reason I use Skype (ever) is to put the babies on with their grandmother, who doesn’t get to see them as often as she’d like. That, I don’t mind.
Yes! A friend of mine, Jessica Scott, was in Iraq for a year and her kids stayed with their grandparents. She would have regular Skype chats with the kids. THAT to me is the purpose. (Though I will do FaceTime with the 10yo, but that’s b/c it cracks her up.)
Very funny, Julie. I agree completely that they should come with a ‘touch up’ feature, maybe a little cyber make-up, a comb? That said, I do like video conferencing. My family does it quite a bit with out of town relatives and that’s how my critique group gets together to brainstorm or just share stories and have a cup of coffee on the weekend. It’s so fun! Now, Facetime works on my Mac and I love iChat the best. Skype hates me. I can never get it to work, no matter how hard I try. They have secret codes and handshakes or something. And my mom has used the video feature through Facebook and she says that works really well too.
I may be doing something wrong with FaceTime on my Mac. I may force you to come over sometime and look at it for me b/c Nothing Happens. But that would suggest I want to do this video thing…..
I use iChat for IM, but have never video’d
Facebook has video? See? SEEEEE? It’s taking over the world!
Seriously, though, the family thing I totally get, and if my mom was even remotely techie, I’d put the kids on and let them dance and sing and be their goofy selves.
As for friends etc. … who knows. One of these days I may be a convert, but right now, I’m not ready for my close-up, Mr. DeMille!