Not that I begrudge the United States of America my fair share, but tax preparation is not only the worst part of writing, but my own personal hel
l. When I mentioned to some writer friends I was working on taxes, two of them yelled at me to shut up, so I don’t think I am alone in hating this.
I don’t even do my own taxes. All I have to do is get our records into some reasonable semblance of organization, but just doing that is enough to send me straight to the chocolate bars. First, I am a horrible record-keeper. I keep all my records, I even file them away. But my records are in poor shape. Somethings are written on scraps of paper and I have to find the back-up documents. Other things get mis-filed and I have to redo my tallies. It is a LOT of paper and receipts and cryptic notes to sort through. I am not smart enough to have this all on Quicken, or even in a spreadsheet. Every year I tell myself, THIS year, I am getting this stuff into a program. But I never do because even one more moment spent figuring this stuff out makes me crazy.
Second, I get 1099s from more than one source, and do you think the sum of those ever matches the amounts of checks I received? God no, that would make my life too easy. I actually had to carry my 1099s and my very pathetic ledger (handwritten. On the back of an edited page) to my CPA (who happens to be my sister) and she had to figure it out. I felt like a moron (ooops…is that the M word?). I felt like I hadn’t passed basic math. I was a little relieved when she had to do it a couple of times to figure it out. So it’s not just me after all! No one in New York really knows what they paid out, either!
Third, it is the hours out of my life spent looking for any deduction, no matter how small, that I can take. That means a trip down memory lane and my checkbooks (books. That’s right. Again, it would make my life too easy to have just ONE check book). I find all the things spent on writing, but I also find other things that make me cringe. Like a Nordstrom’s bill.
Fourth, it is dragging my poor husband through the process with me. He likes to think about taxes even less, and maintains that it’s such a nightmare because of me, not him. The smallest request turns into a huge brouhaha:
Me “Did you get a 1099 thingie, or whatever they call it when you, you know, work?” 
Him “What do you mean, a 1099 thingie?”
Me: “A 1099 thingie! Don’t act like you don’t know what it is! You get one every year!”
“Do you mean a w-2? ”
“I don’t KNOW. I just know its the thingie that tells you how much they paid you!”
“Do you want the one that tells me how much they PAID me, or the amount of taxable income? And I got this thing from Edward Jones. What am I supposed to do with it?”
“How the hell should I know?”
“And do you know if we got Form 10-something or other for the time we stuck our left foot in and bought that rental property and then sold it under market value and went upside down and all around, take your left foot out?”
“I don’t know! I’m a writer! If you are going to question everything I do, then YOU do the taxes!”
“No way. You’re not putting that off on me. Look at the box of paper! Do you really expect me to sort through THAT?”
But I am happy to report our “preparation” to have our taxes done is complete. Now, we get to sit back and wait for The Call. You know, the one from the CPA. It usually starts off like this: “Are you sitting down?”
How is your tax preparation going? Do you know how much money you made last year, or do you have to add some boxes and subtract some papers and then multiply by a factor of 10 to figure it out? Are you done? Are you organized? Do you leave it to your spouse and hope for the best?
{ 30 comments… read them below or add one }
I’m one of those that will yell at you to shut up. Each year, I manage to get more organized, so it’s all **there** but I still have to sort through all the back up documentation and I have no idea (since our mortgage shifted through about 8000 institutions this year) where the house paperwork is, and this was the first year I actually issued a 1099 and a W-2, and UGH. I hate paying taxes!!!!!!
Have you ever heard about someone who was accused or convicted of tax fraud or evasion, and the spouse knows nothing? I can honestly believe that happens. If Hubot did the taxes, I would know nothing — by choice!
I’ve actually litigated the “innocent spouse defense”!
Oh, do tell, Julie. Did the innocent spouse get off?
Yup!!!!
I have all the 1099 and W2 documents in one place and I’ve installed Turbo Tax, and that is as far as I’ve gotten in the process. I work a 9-5 so I know how much I made but I bought a house and this will be the first year I can really itemize and I’m not looking forward to the challenge. I’m not really organzied and since reciepts and documentation are most likely well hidden in a box somewhere it will make the prepartion difficult. I like Jacquie’s idea…I’m putting accountant on my list of men to marry!
I am sensing a common tax-ostrich approach here — stuffing receipts in boxes and then hiding them. We all seem to be pretty good about that.
Michelle,
I saw the form for the house credit, and it’s pretty easy… Every else? Not so much. Good luck with it.
When I enrolled in college, I went in as an accounting major. I hit that first accounting course and said, “whoa.” Within the hour I was at the registrar’s office saying, “What else ya got?”
It was very clear what I needed to do, so I did it.
I married an accountant.
Fortunately, my sister is one. It is so odd — she was telling me the other day that some guy said she ought to write a book about fraud investigative accounting, which she does. She said she couldn’t imagine worse torture than to have to sit down and write more than a page about anything. I said, I can — having to sit down and add anything.
How can we come from the same DNA and be at such completely different ends of the spectrum? And thank goodness we are, because I would be a mess.
Husband does it all — THANK GOD! I would rather have razors stuck in my eye. Seriously. Used to do taxes for an estate we managed and whoa mama every year at this time I wanted to hide under the bed. But I got it done. And now I’ve paid my dues and passed the baton.
Seriously…razor blades.
I know exactly what you’re talking about and after WEEKS of working on it a little here and there, I finally finished tallying up my deductions and expenses and income and all the rest of it — today! Thank goodness. I hate and loathe it. Congrats on finishing, Julia!
Thanks, Eloisa! Its almost like finishing a book — THE END
I’m sooo jealous you’re done. I’m not even meeting with my accountant until March….
YAY! That is great progress, and this is motivating me to actually pull the folder out of the drawer and tackle it…
Or maybe I can do that tomorrow.
Okay, well that was a little tongue-in-cheek, Freedom. I can never remember the names of the different forms. Too many of them! There should be an easy form: how much did you bring in. How much did you spend on your business. how much did you spend on your kids. How much did you spend on your property. Anything else you think we need to know about? Now, tell us what taxes you’ve paid in the last year and you are good to go.
I hate the IRS. I got audited when I was 18!!! 18!!! It was a life-altering, blood-pressure-raising experience, and why they don’t put the IRS in with the torture statutes, frankly, I don’t know.
I’m waiting for the millenium that they revise the tax code to make it user-friendly. Oh, Congress, Congress, where forth art thou?
Haha, this is actually the first year I’m NOT freaking out about my taxes! For the first time in 6 years, I don’t have to worry about financial aid forms for colleges! Before this year, I would have my taxes done the first week of February because the earlier you turn in your tax forms, the earlier you can fill out your FAFSA, and the earlier you know how much money you get for school the next year. Whew. The last two years were even worse because I worked in multiple states and had to file in 2-3 states. This year’s taxes should go much smoother…hopefully. Now I’m kind of worried…I still have to file in two states and I still have two W-2s, but I’m not as rushed this year.
I don’t do any of this tax stuff myself. My parents’ neighbor is an accountant and has been doing my family’s taxes for years. I just give him all the documents that might possibly relate to tax stuff.
I could never have our taxes done by February. I don’t get half the documents I need until the first week of Feb. But FAFSA is in our future, as Hubot is going back to school, so I really have to figure that out.
Def figure it out. Hubby here handles financial aid stuff, (it’s the only financial piece that he does), and I fear to learn exactly what we signed up for. For some, taxes is the ostrich thing. For me, it’s college tuition.
My tax prep is going fine because I make my husband do it. Ha, ha, ha. Actually, he uses TurboTax every year and just filed electronically the other day, so we are done.
I wish I could make Hubot do anything. Anything.
But he’s a hubot! Surely, anything is possible.
STOP IT!! Please, I beg you just stop.
No, I don’t know how much I made last year. Yes, I have to add and subtract a zillion little boxes. No, I’m not done yet or even vaguely organized to start.
Yes, I’m panicking and procrastinating. Do you think “I don’t wanna” works with the IRS? Its not working with my husband so far.
Oh Kim. Not evenly vaguely organized? Because you only have a couple of months left. Just a friendly reminder
Yeah, it’s a bit of crazy. We got it out of the way early this time. We usually wait until April and then scramble. This year, not a problem. Done. But I’m already dreading next year. For now, I’m determined to keep better records. But that resolve always falls away fast and tax panic sets in again.
OMGoodness, I hate tax season. Hubby does them (boy genius) and therefore holds me to account for every little entry not properly categorized in Quicken. Event by event. Really, if I’d known how to categorize my ticket for a CNN tour with a conference VIP, I would have done it. Sigh, next he’ll want to know which of those expenses were actually reimbursed and if I recorded them properly. Sheesh! Details!
Debbie, at least you have Quicken, LOL. But I feel your pain.
I want one of those little receipt scanners so that you can scan in stuff, and make it searchable and tagable. Total Organization is my Holy Grail. Alas, it is just as unlikely I’ll ever find it.
Tax prep is not a problem for me. I earn $0.00 last year. I file so that the college students in the family have something to send in for financial aid. In a former life, I did tax preparation for other people and still do it for my kids and one of their friends. I know exactly what you are talking about when you say a 1099 thingy and a W-2 thingy. They both report income, but a 1099 is for the “self-employed” such as yourself who earn money, but aren’t “employed” by a company, you know the kind that offer vacations, sick days and other benefits. A W-2 is what those who are employed by others receive to tell them how much they earned. Okay tax lesson over, back to revisions.